How To Build Intimacy In A Queer Relationship

What is Intimacy and How To Build Intimacy in a Queer Relationship

Intimacy is the degree to which you allow someone into your life. It is the degree to which you let someone know you and vice versa.

To build intimacy in a queer relationship, it is important to listen and be present with one another. This can be accomplished by talking about your feelings, thoughts, and experiences. Intimacy can also be built through physical acts such as touching, kissing, and sex. Everyone is different with the way they like to experience intimacy, so make sure to discuss with your partner(s) what your love languages are and how you all can better show up for each other intimately.

Talking to Your Partner About Gender Identity & Sexuality

For folks in queer relationships, it’s important to identify how comfortable you all feel expressing yourselves and showing up as a queer couple. To build intimacy, become curious about your partner’s sexual identity, how they would prefer to experience pleasure, and their preferred style of intimacy.

The first step is to ask them what they identify as, what their pronouns are, and how you all would prefer to be identified in public and private spaces. This can be a difficult conversation, but it's important to have and can help in building lasting trust within the partnership.

The Importance Of Touch in Your Relationship

Touch is a powerful tool in our relationships. It can help us to feel more connected, less lonely, and even more confident. Touching your partner can make you feel closer to them. The physical contact causes the release of oxytocin, a hormone that makes you feel good. When we touch someone else, it releases the same hormone in them too, which creates a feeling of closeness and connection between both people involved.

The benefits of touch don’t stop there! Touch can also help us to feel less lonely or isolated from others by giving us an emotional boost when we need it most. This is because when we are touched by someone else, our brain produces dopamine and serotonin which gives us an emotional high that makes us feel better about ourselves! Make sure you practice intentionality and informed consent to maintain a safe and healthy space for building intimacy. Touching can include cuddling, massage, gently scratching your partner, or soothing them by laying on them. The possibilities are endless!

The Importance of Communication in Your Relationship

Communication is a vital element in any relationship. It is the basis of any connection and helps to keep the bond strong. Communication also helps to avoid misunderstandings, which are very common and can lead to many problems.

The importance of communication in your relationship cannot be underestimated. It is the key for maintaining a healthy relationship and avoiding misunderstandings. Maintain communication with your partner(s) by doing daily or weekly check ins (depending on you all’s social needs) and openly discussing events or happenstances in the relationships. The more you practice the easier it will be to have these vulnerable conversations. Remember to stay open-minded and mindful, and never approach a conversation from a place of anger.

Start Building More Intimacy With Your Partner Today

It is important to have a healthy relationship with your partner and be open with them. It also goes without repeating that people should not feel bad about having a conversation with their partner, even tough conversations, because in the end, these types of discussions will help to improve intimacy and overall relationship morale, if done respectfully and from a place of understanding. Building out intimacy with our partner(s) is a beautiful and rewarding experience and essential towards the livelihood of many relationships!

About the author:

Victory (they/them) is a latine trans non-binary content creator, artist, social media expert, and community healer. With several years of experience as a mentor and advocate for the queer community, Victory boasts a passion for sexual wellness, trauma-informed healing, social justice issues, and intersectional advocacy for the LGBTQIA+ and BIPOC community. In their spare time, Victory enjoys spending time outside in nature, DJ'ing, creating art, playing video games, and playing with hula hoops and fire. You can find and support their community work, art, and business at @flowingfrequency on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook.